My sorrow and my shame

My sorrow

I have tried to put forth a gospel in scripture the church refused to believe.  Although this gospel is in scripture, it for some reason is unseen.  This is the gospel that the book of Acts testifies to when it says in the last part of the book that Paul preached in Rome from the books of Moses and the prophets. 

From the Law of Moses this in a nutshell is Paul’s gospel from our New Testament:

God imputed to Abraham righteousness because of his faith.  His faith added nothing to this righteousness that God gave him, but through his faith he received what God alone can do for man.

God made an everlasting covenant with Abraham and his descendents and gave the seal of circumcision.  Paul testifies that this seal was a seal of righteousness that Abraham received not because he obeyed the order to circumcise but because he believed God before he was circumcised.  This is how Abraham before the Law was credited righteousness by God outside of any effort of his own.  Abraham was our example of how we are imputed righteousness not from the Law but by faith.

Paul also taught this was imputed to him because he put his belief into action making it a living faith.  Scripture tells us by putting his faith to action he left the land of his fathers and sojourned in a land not his own.  He believed God when He said that, “you are the father of many nations.”  He offered his son believing God to raise Him from the dead, for he did not doubt the promises.  Paul says Abraham hoped against all hope.

Paul still teaching from the Law of Moses instructs us that this covenant of imputed righteousness was not just for Abraham but his descendents.  This is why it was an everlasting covenant.  Paul adds to the sons of Abraham by telling gentiles we too are now included in this blessing of Abraham through Christ.  The crowd that Paul preached to was not the first to be imputed righteousness but were part of a long line of those God has been giving His gospel of imputed righteousness to.

This is why Hebrews tells us those at Mt. Sinai had the same gospel preached to them as we do today.  But how did the chosen people of God’s election treat His gospel.  Moses took it lightly and God was about to kill him on his way to Egypt until his wife circumcised their son.  God was not going to let his prophet start off on the wrong foot by making light of the seal of righteousness God gave them.

From then on His people have continued to make light of the righteousness God gave them.  They sought their own through the Law, causing Paul to say they rejected the righteousness of God because they worked for it, instead of accepting it by faith.

Others rejected the righteousness of God by ignoring what Moses commanded them and rejected all righteousness.  But a few, like David, understood what God had done and today we use his voice in scripture to talk of our own salvation.  Yet this is a man who we would say is Old Testament and couldn’t possibly have our gospel.

Now today, we have nothing on Abraham and we have all gone our own way.  Some of us who believe have gone into unrighteousness.  Others have gone the way of the Law, but some of us truly do have faith.

Because I preach this gospel that Paul preached from the Law of Moses and the prophets I am scorned, made light of, taken off others web sights and looked at as a spiritual sicko. 

Forget the implications of a people who put confidence that the grace of God has sealed them, when we see the grace of God not sealing anyone who did not approach him with living faith.  They can’t fathom God imputing to the people of Israel His righteousness, which they like us do not deserve.  Now do they understand from the Moses and the prophets they too had our gospel and our hope of salvation.  Now we too being grafted into Abraham have the same promises.

But this gospel has made me distasteful to the church, my insistence on the truth of this gospel Paul preached from the Law of Moses and the prophets, even has me at odds with those who have been the closest to me for the longest time.  Truly I am alone in this.

At times my conviction of the truth of this gospel clashes with my multiple rejections and attacks to cause me such a sorrow in my soul that I feel like I have a huge rip in the inner part of my soul.  I at times fell overwhelmed with grief, the people of God reject what Paul has preached to us in the New Testament from the Law of Moses and the Prophets, as if we have some new gospel from him.  Sometimes I feel my sorrow on this more than I can bear, and standing alone I have to cry out to the one who promised us His gospel.

My shame

At times I have proven myself all to human and reacted to those who have attacked me, attacked the gospel I preach, keeping themselves blind and all their hearers.  Instead of responding like I feel I should I have attacked back.

I think back to the man of God who called fire down two times on those who came to get him.  Is my cause any different than his?  He preached to the people of God too and they would not listen either.  They to had already found their answers. 

To my shame, I at times do not know if I am coming or going.  At times, in the pain I feel, I wished I had never started this, but the turmoil inside of me will rip me apart, I fear if, I don’t continue. 

To my shame I have not been with the Lord like I need, to be able to preach the gospel of Paul and like Paul say,

My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.[1]

[1] I Corinthians 2:4-5

8 thoughts on “My sorrow and my shame

  1. Bah… you are not as alone as you think you are… You must die before you will truly live. So, reconcile yourself as dead to this world, pick up your cross, and live the life you will now live in the hope of exchanging the corruptable for the incorruptable… soon this will take place. As you eager wait for the return of the Lord, Love Him by feeding some of His sheep… endure this privilaged burden to the very end as not all get the opportunity to be trusted with this honor. Even fewer are found worthy to suffer in beatings and such… and by the way… try not to fight every form of authority along the way. 🙂

  2. Amen, Michael! Dave…God is not the accuser of the brethren. Satan is the liar. He is accusing your brethren unjustly and causing greater divide among you and they. True…they do not have the spiritual discernment you have received. Only God knows why. But rather than being ‘ripped’…you should be ‘counting it all joy.’ The distress you feel…needlessly…is causing harm to you, your family, and those around you to whom you could be demonstrating your strength, your joy, your LOVE for all of them. Don’t look at what they do NOT see. Look at what they DO see. They are the weaker brethren. You must ‘bear’ them! You are able! I’ve shared this crucial truth with you before….that the insights God is giving you….are for YOU..not for them!!! He is calling YOU to HOLINESS!!! Not them. How do I know??? Because I’m in the same place as you….only …maybe….one itty bitty step ahead of you…since I already KNOW that ‘the battle is the Lord’s.’ No person, no church member, no professing Christian…nobody……can SEE….unless God gives them that SIGHT! You can argue, stress, confront, leave their midst…whatever you want to do…and it will NOT change anything. TRUST GOD WITH HIS OWN GOSPEL!!! HE IS CAPABLE!!! THE BATTLE IS ALREADY WON!!! HE’S ALREADY PROMISED THAT ‘FEW’ WILL HEAR AND ‘SEE.’

    When you, Michael, myself, and others who KNOW these truths…reach the place of POWER…as did the patriarchs of old…we WILL be casting out devils for those who ask, healing the sick and commanding them ‘tell no one'(because the physical is the least significant portion of a man), and those whose hearts are open…will ‘believe the works’ we do. I’m not there yet!

    Dave, I hope I’m not offending you. If I am…then ‘don’t be easily offended.’ LOL. You are spending VALUABLE time trying to right something YOU cannot ‘right’. The established church of today is the equivalent of the legalistic religions who swore by their traditions, standards, laws…habits…and so forth. Their ‘pride’ was in their own righteousness. But even among them…dwelled the humble and sincere people who were seeking God and Truth. When they found it…they did NOT stand against the established ‘church.’ They came ‘out’ of the establishment and assembled themselves privately…under threats of rebuke. They meekly and quietly ‘lived’ their faith. Paul and others who were called to more public demonstrations did not do so to ‘change’ what would not be changed…but worked to STRENGTHEN true believers. God sits high on His throne with our mediator and brother, Christ, at His right hand….with majesty and power forever. We are to be as Christ…in all things. He is our example. He wept over the unrighteousness of Jerusalem….to demonstrate to all men…His love for them. But Christ’s ministry was one of everyday action…of positive outcomes…of victory over evil…of demonstrating the compassion of the Father…and of being first and foremost……a SERVANT!!! Christ did more DOING than talking. That is the example He gives us of how to ‘live’ our faith. Even then…it is not ‘we’ who are living it…but it is Him though us. So no credit is due us.

    Dave, confrontation ALWAYS…ALWAYS…ALWAYS reaps confrontation. It is a trap we sometimes get caught in. There is POWER in ‘turning the other cheek’, in doing good for evil, and in walking out before the ‘goliaths’ carrying nothing but a shepherds sling….KNOWING…KNOWING…KNOW…that the ‘battle is the Lord’s.’ You are being lied to by the Father of lies. You are being asked to believe that the Gospel of Christ is failing to reach its mark. NOT TRUE!!!! If everyone of us disintegrated in the next moment…God would still accomplish what He desires to accomplish!!! But God is sparing us who know the Gospel so we might ‘live’ that beautiful Truth in the darkness of these days. It’s glow is, indeed, a mere flicker…but even a ‘flicker’ is powerful enough to light the darkness of those who desire ‘light.’

    I learned this one thing while still a teen….if God will not ‘save’ the world….why in the name of all that is Holy…do I think I must!!!! And God out of His foreknowledge…has shown us that the majority will choose the broad path which leads to destruction.

    My heart prays without ceasing ‘thy will be done’ with myself and with all men. I am everybit as outcast as you…maybe more. But we are promised that will be the case!! I am no longer part of the established church the way I was for so many years. I taught, served on boards and committees and was totally engrossed in ‘churchianity’ as my salvation. Like many today, I called ‘church’..the House of God..Worship Service…the Family of God. We were all so RIGHT and others were so WRONG. Hmmm. I could not see the forest for the trees. But God worked circumstances which resulted in my being able to look from a distance at the place I had been in….and since I was no longer in the middle of the forest….I could see it. And I was shocked at what I saw. I had to ask God to forgive me for choosing man’s tradition over His truths in so many instances. He did forgive me. But because of my experience of being in the same place of those who remain engrossed in ‘churchianity’ and its traditions…I KNOW they CANNOT hear unless, as He did for me…that God brings them out and teaches them the error of believing the doctrines of men…no matter how well-meaning…are a replica of the true Gospel. I, like they, considered those who spoke against my experience….outcasts…and ‘s t r a n g e.’ LOL!!!

    Well, now that I likely have totally offended you…I’ll stop. But know every word I have shared is done so with the deepest consideration for your circumstance and with the hope you will think on them.


    Joh 15:18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

    Joh 15:19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

    Joh 15:20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

    WE ARE NOT PLAYING GAMES HERE. WE ARE INVOLVED IN THINGS THAT ARE ETERNAL. SERIOUS. REmember, we do not war against flesh and blood (fellow church members/professing christians) but against spiritual wickedness in ‘HIGH’ places. And since we do not war against flesh and blood…and since the warfare is between the Spirit of God and the ‘spirit’ of Satan…and since God has already defeated the enemy of mankind….what are you ‘ripped’ about??? lol.

    Dave, God gives spiritual gifts to us as He sees fit. My gift is prophecy. But it is NOT as generally thought. It does not include petty and unimportant things. It is ONLY about things with eternal significance. And out of the things taught me by the Holy Spirit, the GREATEST use of this gift is the ‘edifying of the saints’!!!! So I am ‘prophesying’ to you that God knows the state of the established church. He is growing the true believers and making them strong and stedfast for these last days in which we live. You, Dave, are one of those. God does NOT expect you to bring sight and hearing to those who are deaf and blind. He DOES need you to ‘listen’ to your heart and ‘LIVE’ the Gospel of the Kingdom…the Gospel of Faith…the Gospel of Christ…the Gospel of Salvation. It is a Gospel of ‘deeds’ and not of ‘words.’ Christ didn’t come ‘talking’ about the death He would die! He DIED that death!!! He didn’t come ‘talking’ about the Grace He would ‘birth’ out of that death!!!! He BIRTHED that Grace through the giving of His soul for ours!!! God is equipping you with wisdom and knowledge to LIVE the Gospel. But you are using the wisdom and knowledge He has given you as a cloak of your own righteousness. You are shaking that cloak in front of the church brethren and saying…’look at me….listen to me….I have the answers!!!’ You are causing confusion and provocation. God does not authorize confusion. The wisdom and knowledge He is giving you is for one REASON only!!! It is a tool through which you ‘shrink’ to self…and ‘enlarge’ in God. God does not need you to change the church. CHRIST is the one commissioned for such a deed. And Christ has not given His ‘commission’ to anyone. All that is left for you now, Dave, is to show meekness, kindness, mercy, servitude, humility, weakness, turn the other cheek, and all the other traits of true ‘goodness’ from God. Through that ‘seeming’ weakness….God will accomplish His desires through you.

  3. We are called to choose this day whom we would serve. We are not part of some elected elite although we are God’s elect by our having chosen Him and His Son and remaining in Them but there are many who would cheapen God’s grace and the death of Yeshua by saying we are predestined as opposed to foreknown. Stay strong and earnestly contend for the faith. As Christians we are adopted into the tribe of Judah as Jesus was of the tribe of Judah and we are His brothers and sisters as He said in Matthew 12:48-50. You bear no shame for preaching God’s Truth and with Him, you can bear the sorrow of standing firm on His Word. Hallelujah and amen!

  4. as i posted on another blog:

    when it comes to teaching about salvation: reformed theology = the doctrines of grace = “calvinism”

    but this is a mess to begin with:

    2. God imputed to Abraham’s descendents His righteousness

    you don’t seem to understand that natural descent counted for little – disobedient jews were covenant-breakers and NOT the recipients of imputed righteousness, which has always been only for believers.

    Gal3:7Understand, then, that those who believe are children of Abraham… 9So those who have faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith.

    …26You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

    Rom9:6It is not as though God’s word had failed. For not all who are descended from Israel are Israel. 7Nor because they are his descendants are they all Abraham’s children. On the contrary, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” 8In other words, it is not the natural children who are God’s children, but it is the children of the promise who are regarded as Abraham’s offspring.

    the jews who lacked faith were never counted as righteous.

    despite what “pastor steve”, God’s choice was foundational – we love God because He first loved us. pastor steve might argue that God looks down the corridor of time and loves us only because we foundationally love Him, but that is unbiblical. the bible teaches predestination no matter how much men hate the Word of God.

    1Cor1:26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus…

    • Charles,

      I would agree with you that natural descent counts for nothing, when the people reject the righteousness of God as Paul says. But it does not take away from the righteousness that God gave them, just because they rejected it.

      I disagree that imputed righteousness is only for believers. Paul teaches that circumcision is the seal of righteousness and God said that a man could break this covenant. This is why there is so much discussion about being circumcised in the heart. Circumcision meant more that I am a Jew, it is a seal of credited righteousness. The people rejected this and sought there own righteousness in the Law. This is why Jesus was a minister of circumcision. Through Him we are included into the blessings given to Abraham.

      (Rom 15:8 KJV) Now I say that Jesus Christ was a minister of the circumcision for the truth of God, to confirm the promises made unto the fathers:

      The Jews who were not credit righteousness, didn’t walk in this because they didn’t have faith. Not because it was not given, but because it was rejected. Just as Christ was given to all men, but He is rejected.

      I think election is not as the Calvinist say, but as the Arminianist say. The whole nation was imputed through the covenant as seal of righteousness or circumcision. They in their free will rejected it. It was God’s grace and His alone to give it but we are a stubborn and stiff necked people.

  5. “Circumcision meant more that I am a Jew, it is a seal of credited righteousness.”

    circumcision was a seal of the covenant.

    some teach that there are 2 types of people – believers/unbelievers or saved/unsaved.

    it’s probably more accurate to say there are 3 types: covenant keepers, covenant breakers and unbelievers. only those who humble themselves in obedience and repentance are credited with righteousness. only those whom God changes will have any desire to repent and obey.

    “But it does not take away from the righteousness that God gave them, just because they rejected it.”

    Isa55:11 …so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

    you’d have to deny the scripture to claim that anyone can send God’s word back to Him an empty failure. i know that you’ve fallen in love with the western notion of “free will” but it’s simply not correct.

    Jer13:23 Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots?
    Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.

    we are not “free” to do anything at all. as the calvinists would say, we are only free to do what we want, and our nature determines what we want. our fallen, evil nature is unable and unwilling to turn to God.

    your notion that people can choose Jesus whether they love Him or hate Him – whether they think His words are wisdom and life, or simply foolishness – is just nonsense. our fleshly, fallen nature would only respond to Jesus with hostility (1Cor2:12-14; Rom8:6-7) – we need a new nature before we would have any reason to follow Jesus…

    God is sovereign – the bible teaches the same as the calvinists about this. please be cautious before teaching that God is helpless before man’s “free will.”

    Dan4:35 All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing.
    He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth.
    No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?”

    Isa46:10 I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come.
    I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.

    Prov16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

    Psa33:10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
    11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

    Psa115:3 Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.

    Psa135:6 The LORD does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths.

    i’ll go back to your calvinism series and take a look at that later…

    • Charles,

      I would agree with you in the context of the Old Testament that there were three types of people. But now in Christ God has reconciled all things to him and holds no mans sins against him. Through Christ we gentiles have been included in the blessings of Abraham.

      Paul speaking of the righteousness that was imputed to Abraham says we who are of the same faith are blessed right along with Abraham in imputed righteousness. Further proving that circumcision was the seal of righteousness in the flesh. That with our father Abraham God started to impute to His people righteousness.

      (Gal 3:9 KJV) So then they which be of faith are blessed with faithful Abraham.
      (Gal 3:14 KJV) That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

      This is why Paul calls Jesus a minister of circumcision. We gentiles are ministered the same grace from God that He ministered to Israel through Christ. Again further proving that circumcision just a seal of some vague covenant. But as scripture teaches, the seal of imputed righteousness.

      (Rom 15:8 KJV) Now I say that Jesus Christ was a minister of the circumcision for the truth of God, to confirm the promises made unto the fathers:

      After this comment Paul elaborates on the work of Christ to the gentiles.

      Is this part acceptable to you? That Christ was the minister of circumcision, that we see we gentiles are blessed with Abraham in that we too are circumcised in the heart by faith. That circumcision is not a seal of a covenant in of land, which is the inheritance, but of righteousness. Again is this something that I have handled the word of God correctly in?

      As far as saying I would have to deny God’s word to say that anyone can send God’s word back to Him empty, I must disagree.

      The passage about the Ethiopian and leopard was a question to the people of God concerning them rejecting Him. Not a statement that that His will, work or word will never be done in vain.

      Did you pluck a verse out of Jeremiah to prove a doctrine or did you read it. I read that God Himself says His efforts on these people was a vanity.

      (Jer 2:30 KJV) In vain have I smitten your children; they received no correction: your own sword hath devoured your prophets, like a destroying lion.

      There are many other mention of vain acts in the book of Jeremiah and all of them exactly what it say. How much more should I accept what God has said? Does Christ say anything different?

      (Luke 7:31 KJV) And the Lord said, Whereunto then shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like?(Luke 7:32 KJV) They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace, and calling one to another, and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept.(Luke 7:33 KJV) For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.(Luke 7:34 KJV) The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!(Luke 7:35 KJV) But wisdom is justified of all her children.

      Why so quick to say I have left scripture, when scripture says something different?

      I have never said people can choose Christ whether they love or hate Him. You are filling in the blanks. I like you understand that it is the Spirit of God that calls us. But I believe all men all called. You don’t because you think it takes away from God if He does anything in vain. I say it shows His love better when He dies for those who will not accept Him. But may some other time to discus this further.

      Yes the Lord does as He pleases and the nations plot in vain against Him. But the Lord does not do any less according to His will when He makes it so that a man can walk by faith or not, repent or not, trust or not, hope or not, obey or not. It is His design and plan not ours. So why would I be the one to whom the warning should be sounded about being cautious about free will?

      It is my opinion that your comment men can only respond to Jesus with hostility without a new nature, is not scriptural. Paul taught those who do not have the word of God doing what is the law by the nature God gave them fulfill the Law.

      (Rom 2:13 KJV) (For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified.(Rom 2:14 KJV) For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves:(Rom 2:15 KJV) Which show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another;)

      No one can argue they have the Law, the gospel, the spirit, but it goes back to the first chapter of Romans where Paul says God has made Himself known and no man is without excuse. Even those who have not heart the Law, the gospel, our hope, are accountable. They are not excused, not because the are not elected, but because God has made Himself known and they are accountable to choose.

      Is this to hard to swallow? To me it seems very biblical. Or do you have another take on Romans 2:13-15 and Romans chapter one?

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